ABOUT

CONTENTS

EDITORIAL

ARCHIVE

LAGNIAPPE

MAST

SUBMISSIONS

 
MY ASS LIFE IN THE WEST:
THE CATCHER TRANSCRIPTS
by Daniel Nester

As part of a high school-level English as a Second Language class for which I served as a teacher's assistant this past Fall, we reread J.D. Salinger's classic, The Catcher in the Rye. For most high school students, the book is a revelation -- for the first time, they realize a piece of literature can relate to their own teenage angst and troubles. When refracted and heard through the eyes and ears of students who are not native speakers of English, I have learned, it can also become an exercise in gleeful vulgarity.

One day, I sat around a group of six young men, all Asian, all perfectly mild-manned, all jumpy and not-so-eager to write. Our assignment that day was to think of dialogue that might have been said at a particular part of Catcher. Our table was assigned the scene near the end of the novel, in which main character Holden Caulfield tells his younger sister Phoebe he is moving away (page 206-207 in the famous "blood brown" edition). Phoebe arrives with a suitcase full of clothes, and demands to accompany him. It's a touching scene, but what stood out to my activity group instead was the opportunity to explore the vulgarity used in the book, and take it even further.

What follows is exactly what I have been keeping in the LPZ file for these couple of months. After reviewing what they wrote, I came to two conclusions: one, this work will not be shared with the class and read out loud; and two, I must ask these students to publish them in my online literary magazine. The group agreed with both of my conclusions, and so six authors were born. The process for writing this dialogue was as an exquisite corpse, in which we passed along the writing around the table -- much like the group-written poems, also by non-native English-speaking students, in LPZ #6.

I think somewhere along the line, something went wrong, something terribly wrong, with our re-visualization of Salinger's work.



Transcript 1

Holden: Could you help me Carry My Suitcase?

Phoebe: Alright

Holden: You such a jerk can you carry that little suitcase? You suck for carry it

Phoebe: What's hell! I said alright

Holden: I Don't Give a Damn to What Me Hell You Said

Phoebe: That just fine, leave me alone, jerk it ass, please wipe your ass before I fuck you up

Holden: Bitch, who wanna deal with you, because you such a sunabitch

Phoebe: Yeah, I am, so what ya sunbitch too, you ma the fucker

Holden: If you are it again, I will show the goddamn figure to you, and I will stick my finger in your stinky ass




Transcript 2

Phoebe: What the hell are you doing?

Holden: Shut the hell up.

Phoebe: What the hell are you saying?

Phoebe: Just Open Your God Damn Ear And Listen to What I Said

Holden: Ya give me a break ass hole

Phoebe: You the asshole ask me to come you, and now what in the hell you want

Holden: Give me your ass I will bring you to my ass life in the West.

Phoebe: Shit, go fuck yourself




Transcript 3

Holden: If you want to come with just come if not just get out the here?

Phoebe: I kind of get something to get done.

Holden: Get out of there.

Phoebe: Huh?

Holden: NVM [never mind]

Phoebe: I want to go with you, plz

Holden: Come on let's go. I will make you full of excited in your whole life

Phoebe: how

Holden: Don't Ask Me A Damn Fucking Question

Phoebe: Damn you jerk




Transcript 4

Phoebe: How you today Holden

Holden: Fine shut up

Phoebe: What's wrong "why you so rude to me"

Holden: Leave me alone

Phoebe: What's the hell ya said. it gave you say is one more crying world, you better get the hell out the here and go along for your self

Holden: Alright

Phoebe: Also dammit where is my goddamn money.

Holden: Your money where in the hell could you use hell money

Phoebe: I want it. I want it. Give the damn money to me.

Holden: Alright, go to hell then bitch

Phoebe: I will bum them for your

Holden: bring it to me if you can clean it shut before you hatch

Phoebe: Please watch what you say




Transcript 5

Phoebe: Holden, I think I going to get a job too, so we have more money

Holden: Why ya have to think that way. We just want to have more "fun"

Phoebe: You are goddam lazy, nobody like you!

Holden: What the fuck you saying? If you don't wanna hang out get the fuck out the here.

Phoebe: Who would like to hang out with you asshole. Get out my way and see you no more.

Holden: Asshole like you. Talking like a bitch.

Phoebe: O, Yea, you have took money a bitch, then use be a fag, would be a fag.

Holden: Shut the hell up. you sound like a little bitch.