ABOUT

CONTENTS

EDITORIAL

ARCHIVE

LAGNIAPPE

MAST

SUBMISSIONS

Five Poems
by Dave Gunton

THE BEST OF THE MIDSIZE SEDANS

I attended a meeting of the community
Landmark preservation committee
To lend my support to saving
The old railroad. God Julia Fennerty
Looked stunning in her pink cardigan
Sweater and long black leather skirt.
I was holding an oatmeal cookie in one
Hand and a Dixie cup with pink lemonade
In the other. Julia and Bob Morton
And Bob Roberts were sitting at a table
In the front of the classroom going over
The minutes. The railroad wasn’t really
A railroad but an old elevated
Subway track in a fairly deserted
Part of town. It was rusted and crumbling
And made me feel depressed whenever
My daughter and I walked under it
On our way home from school. Truth
Be known, they should really tear down
The damn thing. Or maybe turn it into
A restaurant. “You’re killing me here,”
The man sitting next to me suddenly
Said into his cell phone. Then my
Cell phone rang. I politely excused
Myself and stepped into the hallway.
The walls were decorated with the drawings
Of children. Each depicted our nation’s
Successful invasion of the country
Of Iraq.


YOU’RE BREAKING UP AGAIN

“I would do my life, I would do my thing,”
James said. “I don’t want to even get into
Why he did certain things and why I did
Certain things.” The dream of finding
Extraterrestrial life is destined to remain
A dream. That was all I could conclude
Coming out of the Polytechnic Institute’s
Presentation at the university planetarium.
I mean, do the math. I was still thinking
About it after James and I had picked up
Our ice cream cones at the campus Baskin
Robbins and started our customary stroll
Around the athletic fields. There are at least
One million stars in our galaxy alone. Suppose
Aliens do exist but what are the chances
That we would ever make contact with them.
I guess James had broken up with Robbie,
Or Bobby. They had been seeing each other
Three weeks. I don’t know, when you start
To think about the meaninglessness of it all.
James was spilling the ice cream all over himself
And I was absent-mindedly selecting small
Pebbles off the ground to fling at the decorative
Street lamps. “Edgar, you’re probably my best
Friend,” James said. “Probably my only friend.”
We hugged. I felt better. Then James said:
“I so don’t even care.” I bet him on a footrace
To the football field goalpost and won.


DEAR JOAN/SAM

I was married and she was Catholic and I
Wasn’t sure how that was going to play
In Kennett Square. But we set out upon
The eighty mile journey from the capital city
With Love’s fair secretary answering
All inquiries. I offered my bride my elbow
As she gently ascended the gilded carriage
And the man drew the reins of the horses.
The whole thing was eccentric but we
Were feeling eccentric. Hell we were feeling
On top of the world. “The only thing was,
I wasn’t taking the train, I was walking,”
Mercedes began, launching into another
Of her famous stories. I liked to observe
The long pink feather on the side
Of her tiara wiggle and shake as she related
The events of her trip to America, or her
Fight with the bank, or her dead first
Husband, or just whatever. I was simply
Delighted about everything about her.
“Dear Joan/Sam,” I made a mental note
Of beginning a letter. “I trust this missive
Will find you well. You’ll find me as bright
And enterprising as ever, only now it will be
Under vastly different circumstances.”

URBAN RENEWAL

I led the mayor on a tour of the site
For the proposed senior citizen's center.
I had a lot riding on this. If my firm
Won the contract to design the plans
We could build the new bedroom and send
The kids to private schools. Why then
Of all nights would I choose last night to sleep
With my secretary. She looked equally
Ravishing that morning as we traipsed
Around the abandon lot in makeshift boots
And yellow hard hats. Her auburn hair
Blew in the breeze and her houndstooth skirt
Stretched this way and that as she skipped
To avoid the broken bottles and stray trash.
"Mary," I almost said out loud. I launched
Into an impromptu speech on the nature
Of progress and the state of the community,
But the mayor just checked his watch and smiled
His smile. "This could be a unique
Opportunity," I said. "This place is a joke,"
Mary whispered under her breath, either
For my benefit or that of the dashing
Mayoral aide, in his pure silk tie and his
Pink carnation is his fresh pressed lapel.


STARTER HOME

The nations of Europe are straightening their jackets
And walking off the map. The cat in the kitchen

Is sniffing the milk. The light on the porch
Is writing the letter it promised its mother

It would write twenty years ago. The cup of coffee
Wants to go cold. The horizon is doing an impression

Of the town to itself. The gravel driveway that lies
Underneath the new paved driveway—it’s trying

To remember the name of a movie. The computer
Does yoga. The garden roses that never bloomed

Are taking a walk around the block. The idea
Of a second bedroom is looking for tea.

The night wants out. The roof is shuffling the deck
And dealing the cards to the fence and the trees.