King Edward's Dome

King Edward's favorite football team, the Highland Huggies, won the world championship. In their honor, the king ordered a new stadium built, complete with dome and fake grass.

One Monday night, halfway through the second quarter, fans swooned from lack of oxygen.

The team, playing an away game, was spared.

King Edward's dog, Alfred, wanted the curly tailed little bitch. He hounded her day and night, a proper stalker.

He dragged palace leftovers to her door. He peed in her yard. Although a mongrel, she wanted no part of him.

Alf howled.

Then the season changed, and she was his.

King Edward loved sampling new foods, the stranger the combination the better.

One morning, while riding with his palace guards through the countryside, he spotted a peasant family tending their large kitchen garden.

"Off with their heads," Ed said.

That evening the aroma of meat and cabbage filled the castle.

Otto, the kingdom's finest metalworker, went on strike.

"Until the king pays me for the extra hours it takes to make the best swords in the realm," said Otto, "I'll not make more."

Ivan, the king's expert swordsman, found another brand just as effective.