ABOUT

CONTENTS

EDITORIAL

ARCHIVE

LAGNIAPPE

MAST

SUBMISSIONS

 
IF I AM GOING TO BE DROWNED
by Jen Benka

I.

time is up for flares to fire
desire long soaked through

truth be told and then forgotten
rotting at the bottom.


II.

there is no time to prepare
for what you'll see

a side of yourself overboard
an oar a life-vest in the distance, sand and trees.

the sun setting as it does every day. you imagine
everyone is looking

but no one is looking for you.
everyone is waiting

but no one is waiting for you.
a faint fog horn bellows a low, slow sound

your story may not be found.
stowed in a glass bottle

bouncing on a wave
you tell it anyway.

III.


she put rocks in my pockets
before I was born and whispered in my ear

that blood was ink. I took a drink
from her warm gulf of mexico

margarita salt rim
I stripped to my skin and ran in.

under moonlight, the waves
took me too far from shore. dangling, miniature

above the ocean floor. she swallowed me
then spit me out.

in a thunderous roll and snap
she madly sent me back.

Jen Benka's work has appeared in So To Speak, Impetus, Off Our Backs, Ms. Magazine, The Progressive, and Chicago's New City. She has received grants from the Poetry/Film Workshop, Xeric Foundation, Intermedia Arts, and was awarded a 2001 Poetry Fellowship from the Wisconsin Arts Board. Jen is currently organizing "Called Back" -- the first marathon reading of the complete poems of Emily Dickinson, which will take place on June 8, 2002, in New York City's Bowery Poetry Club. She is the managing director of Poets & Writers, Inc.