ABOUT

CONTENTS

EDITORIAL

ARCHIVE

LAGNIAPPE

MAST

SUBMISSIONS

EXT. - POLICE STATION - MORNING
SHIRLEY 17, walks groggily out of the police station. Her older, unmarried sister ANNE 23, walks out behind her. The deputy runs out after them.

DEPUTY
You forgot your belt, Captain Shirley.

Shirley turns around to retrieve the belt but Anne beats her to the punch.

ANNE
Thank you.

Shirley smiles flirtatiously at the deputy.

SHIRLEY
I've been having trouble keeping track of my clothes lately.

DEPUTY
Try not to have any more trouble. It makes my life exciting but it's only legal in private. Know what I mean?

Shirley gets into the car. Anne slams the door hard and angry. She moves around to the driver's side.

ANNE
Thank you George, we will be on our way.

Anne starts the car and they drive off. There is an uncomfortable silence in the car. Anne turns on the classical station. "Mack the Knife" in the original grating German. Shirley reaches to change the channel to the rap/soul channel. An EPMD song comes on, something like "You had too much too drink." Anne changes the channel back, annoyed.

SHIRLEY
Are you going to give me the silent treatment?

There is a short pause.

ANNE
I hate that kind of music.

SHIRLEY
Don't you think it's just a little bit funny?

ANNE
No. Mom and Dad do not, either.

Shirley tries to change the radio station again.

ANNE
You are impossible.

SHIRLEY
How'd you do that?

ANNE
Do what?

SHIRLEY
Not use contractions when you speak.

ANNE
I do not.

Shirley shrugs.

SHIRLEY
Are Mom and Dad home?

ANNE Shirley, Mom and Dad are so pissed at you that they left town for the day. Why do you think I came to bail you out?

SHIRLEY
I'm sorry.

ANNE
Sorry does not cut it.

SHIRLEY
You're missing work?

Anne shoots her a look that says "Duh! You moron."

SHIRLEY
Haven't you ever gotten drunk before?

ANNE
Yes. But I did not take off my clothes and run through the neighborhood yelling "Arr. I'm captain hook. And I don't have my hook in a normal place like most pirates." Then knock on Father Eugene's door and ask him to baptize me.

ANNE
On a school night!

SHIRLEY
He seemed pretty willing.

ANNE
Stop it.

SHIRLEY
All I had was one beer. I never drank anything in my life before. I'd never even been to a real party. It was fun.

ANNE
All you ever think about is yourself.

SHIRLEY
All you ever think about is what Mom & Dad will think, say or do. Why can't you act like a cool older sister instead of our parent's indentured servant?

Anne stops the car abruptly. Shirley has struck a tender nerve with her sister.

ANNE
Get out.

SHIRLEY
Come on.

ANNE
You can walk home, you ungrateful little bitch.

Shirley starts to cry.

ANNE
Just keep quiet until I give you permission to talk.