ABOUT

CONTENTS

EDITORIAL

ARCHIVE

LAGNIAPPE

MAST

SUBMISSIONS

This is what TV is like
when you're dead.
And yes, we all remember your
Ebola Gulu incident.
Get your hands off me or
you'll hear from my lawyers.
Maybe if I killed myself like
Hemingway people would think
fondly of me.
You can't fight city hall but
you can milk them till their
nipples bleed.
When we get back,
a surprising event in the Philippenes.
I was kicking back enjoying an
IV of glucose and demerol when
a young man with a future and
a gun burst in.
"We're delving into the pathological
here," as
Rush Limbaugh used to say.
God is love
and love is blind so
Ray Charles is God.
Last year I lost my wife.
By the time I found her,
she was in the next state with
some pretty boy,
all my credit cards and the car.
Imagine being clean and sober,
waking up and realizing
this is the best you're gonna
feel all day.
Where are the invoices of yesterday?
Where the kinescope?
Where are the redacted transcripts?
Not sold in any stores.