Karin Williams has served as the Fritz Theater's Producing Director and Playwright-In-Residence since the theater was founded in 1992. Her plays have been produced in California, New Mexico and New York, and published internationally. The Fritz has staged her plays Australia, Room, Susan Katrina and Jill, The Hatchet, Quiz, and The Third Voice of the Nightjar. Plays produced elsewhere include Head, Sunrise, and Ten O'Clock Tuesday. She has directed numerous critically acclaimed productions at the Fritz including The Woods, The Conduct of Life, US, Raised in Captivity, Sight Unseen, and Unmerciful Good Fortune. Her directing work has also been seen at Diversionary Theater, Ensemble Arts Theater, Asian American Repertory Theatre, Alien Stage Project and Vantage Theater. She is the Producer of the Fritz Blitz of New Plays, an annual festival of new work by San Diego dramatists, now in its sixth year. She has taught classes in Playwriting at the Writing Center and Senior Stages Academy. She has an M.A. in Theatre from the University of New Mexico.

Characters

Heidi, late twenties

Jeep, late twenties

Mel, eighteen

J.D., nineteen

Scene in which Heidi and Jeep meet at a dance club. It is dark. There is loud music playing.

JEEP

Dance?

HEIDI

I'm tired of dancing

Pause

JEEP

Can I buy you a drink?

HEIDI

(She hands him a bill) Now get lost.

JEEP

Scotch and water? (Pause) You know I've been watching you all night. You're here by yourself. You're sitting here. You don't dance.

HEIDI

I'm tired of dancing.

JEEP

You're nursing that scotch and water.

HEIDI

I'm tired of drinking.

JEEP

Then what the hell are you doing here?

HEIDI

(Shrugs) It's such a cliché. This whole pickup thing. I've been here so many times, I just don't give a damn.

JEEP

That's a pleasant thought

HEIDI

You're trying to pick me up, right?

JEEP

Very perceptive.

HEIDI

So what's your name?

JEEP

Jeep.

HEIDI

Well, Jeep, would you mind telling me what the hell you see in me?

JEEP

Shit, girl. It's Friday night. You're by yourself. We're by ourselves. Why don't you just lighten up?

Heidi

Let's go.

JEEP

Your place?

She shakes her head.

JEEP

My place?

HEIDI

Vegas.

Scene in which Heidi and Jeep return from Las Vegas to find Mel asleep on the couch. Jeep's apartment, an ugly condo with rented furniture and a big black TV.

Jeep

Cha ching! Cha-ching! (he mimes pulling the handle of a slot machine, kisses Heidi)

HEIDI

(laughing) Quiet. Look!

JEEP

That's Mel

HEIDI

Who?

JEEP

My little sister.

HEIDI

She's sleeping.

JEEP

Shit, girl, it's noon!

HEIDI

Eleven thirty

JEEP

Bloody Mary's!

HEIDI

I've got to call the office.

JEEP

Bloody Mary's all around.

Jeep kisses Heidi and exits. Heidi takes a cellular phone from her bag and dials.

HEIDI

Jen? It's Heidi. I just got in from Vegas. Yeah (laughs) tell Arlen I'm having a breakfast thing with a client. I'll just jump in the shower and see you at the two o'clock meeting. (Pause) Jeep (Pause) Yeah, as in the vehicle...I don't know, maybe. He's got a BMW. Maybe. (Pause) Well, it's only our first date, Jen. I'll let you know this afternoon. See ya.

Mel is awake now, staring at Heidi.

HEIDI

Hi

MEL

Hi

HEIDI

I'm with Jeep. We just got back from Vegas.

MEL

You and Jeep?

heidi

Yeah.

MEL

How much?

HEIDI

How much did we win?

MEL

Win or lose. It's got to be one or the other.

HEIDI

Jeep won $500.

MEL

Cool.

HEIDI

I won seven.

Pause. Jeep enters.

JEEP

Bloody Mary's! (handing a drink to Heidi)

MEL

I want one.

JEEP

Make it yourself.

HEIDI

You can have this one (she gives her drink to Mel) We'll share.

JEEP

(Holding the drink away from Heidi) Two hundred dollars.

HEIDI

(laughing) Jeep!

JEEP

Five hundred!

MEL

Seven.

Heidi

I don't know.

JEEP

You haven't tasted my Bloody Mary's. My Bloody Mary's are worth it (he hands her the drink, she tastes it) Yes?

HEIDI

Definitely a seven hundred dollar drink.

JEEP

(kissing her) Would you care to see my etchings?

MEL

Five hundred dollars.

HEIDI

(laughing) Seven.

JEEP

Why don't you go get a life, Mel?

MEL

Fuck you too, Jeep.

HEIDI

Killer Bloody Mary.

JEEP

Where's your stoner boyfriend?

MEL

How should I know?

JEEP

Thank God for small favors.

HEIDI

I've got a two o'clock meeting.

JEEP

Well, why didn't you say so?

Jeep and Heidi exit to the bedroom. Mel turns on the TV.

Scene in which Mel tells JD about Jeep's new girlfriend. Mel and JD are hanging around the apartment.

MEL

She's an account executive.

jd

What's an account executive?

MEL

They sell shit.

jd

Sounds boring.

MEL

Chips.

jd

Chips?

MEL

Yeah. She gave him seven hundred dollars for a drink of his Bloody Mary and then she took him inside and fucked him.

jd

You want to fuck?

MEL

I don't know.

jd

Want to go to Sound Warehouse?

MEL

I don't know.

JD

What do you want to do?

MEL

Something. I don't know. Let's do something.

Pause.

JD

You feel like piercing anything?

MEL

Yeah.

JD

Me too.

Scene in which Heidi finds out about Mel's background. Heidi and Jeep are at a bar.

HEIDI

So how come she's living with you?

JEEP

Ma got pissed and kicked her out.

HEIDI

What did she do?

JEEP

Nothing.

HEIDI

Then how come...

JEEP

She wasn't going to graduate, but then she graduated and then she started dying her hair and shit.

HEIDI

What about your father?

JEEP

Who?

HEIDI

Oh.

JEEP

It doesn't matter.

Pause.

HEIDI

Do you love her?

JEEP

Who?

HEIDI

Mel.

JEEP

I thought we came here to get away from Mel.

MEL

Want to try it?

JD

No thanks.

MEL

She left it. They're in Vegas for the weekend.

JD

They must like Vegas.

MEL

Heidi likes Vegas. And Jeep likes Heidi.

JD

And I like Delores O'Riordan

MEL

You like me.

JD

Want to go to Sound Warehouse?

MEL

See. Look.

JD

What's that?

MEL

Stuff about chips.

JD

Chips.

MEL

Chips are like gold.

JD

The new gold.

MEL

Basically.

JD

What are you doing?

MEL

Messing around.

JD

What?

MEL

I'm writing something.

JD

What?

MEL

It doesn't matter.

JD

You want a beer?

MEL

No.

JD

You want to go someplace?

MEL

No.

JD

Well what the fuck do you want to do?

Scene in which Heidi finds a poem on her laptop. Jeep's bedroom. Jeep is in bed. Heidi is working on her laptop.

JEEP

Why don't you come to bed?

HEIDI

Quarterly evals.

JEEP

Joyous. (beat) You want to watch me jerk off?

HEIDI

Sounds like a real thrill.

JEEP

You're no fun anymore.

HEIDI

I was never any fun.

Pause. Heidi finds something on the laptop.

HEIDI

Mel.

JEEP

Huh?

HEIDI

It's poetry. I found this file of poetry.

JEEP

You shouldn't have left that thing lying around. She'll sit there for hours figuring things like that out. All kinds of electronic gadgets. Ever since she was a kid she's been like that, sitting there taking the VCR apart and putting it back together. (Pause) So Mel writes poetry, huh?

HEIDI

She wrote a poem.

JEEP

Is it any good?

HEIDI

No, it sucks.

Scene in which Mel and JD are tripping. JD and Mel are hanging around the apartment. Mel stares at the screen on the laptop.

MEL

This is so rad. It's like every pixel is an atom. I can see all the atoms in everything. I can see how we're all put together. Dot by dot by dot. This is the eye of the storm.

jd

What storm?

MEL

This is the cat's eye. This is the vortex. This is the third vision.

jd

You ought to take a look at this smoke. See me smoking?

MEL

I can see your aura.

jd

Stop looking at that thing.

MEL

Your aura is reflected in every pixel.

JD

Have we got any ice cream?

MEL/P>

Freezer.

JD

Cool.

MEL

Why did we take this stuff?

JD

Your hair is like...when you move...there's this glow that follows you...like a camera flash, a camera flash...in your eyes...

MEL

It's two sixteen.

jd

Yeah.

MEL

Heidi and Jeep will be back from the clubs soon.

Pause.

jd

Do we have any ice cream?

Scene is which Heidi watches JD dye Mel's hair. Jeep's apartment. Mel is sitting in a chair with her head back as JD works on her. Heidi is watching.

HEIDI

Be careful.

JD

I did it a million times.

HEIDI

Yeah, well, be careful. If you get a drop of that stuff in her eye...

MEL

He did that once.

JD

Yeah.

MEL

Emergency. I couldn't see for two weeks.

HEIDI

My god.

JD

I'm careful.

HEIDI

How often do you dye your hair?

MEL

Every couple of weeks or so. Whenever I get bored.

HEIDI

I'm surprised you have any hair left.

MEL

It grows.

JD

Grows like fuck.

MEL

Last year I shaved it.

HEIDI

Bald?

MEL

Only half.

JD

This stuff just bleaches it out. The color won't stick until you bleach it out first.

HEIDI

What color are you going to use?

MEL

We got pink and orange. So maybe we'll do half and half, or mostly orange with like a pink streak down here. JD's going to do his tail with what's left over.

JD

Yeah.

MEL

JD's good. He likes to kind of improvise.

Heidi

Have you ever thought of going into hairdressing?

JD

No.

Heidi

Have you ever thought of going into anything?

jd

Not really.

HEIDI

Never?

jd

I don't know.

Heidi

How long do you think you can keep this up?

jd

I don't know.

MEL

Sometimes my hair falls out, you know, it just gets all brittle like you can blow it away. But then more hair grows in.

jd

This girl grows some hair.

HEIDI

I guess mine used to be like that.

MEL

Want to try some, Heidi?

heidi

Right. My boss would love it. My clients would think it was totally rad.

jd

Her boss. Her clients.

MEL

Her hair.

MEL

How do you do so many?

HEIDI

It isn't all that hard.

MEL

It looks like some medieval torture.

HEIDI

The adrenaline. It's like a drug. I assume you know all about drugs.

MEL

Drugs are another form of torture

HEIDI

This is a healthy form

MEL

Who's healthy? You?

HEIDI

Of course I am

MEL

Yeah?

HEIDI

Yeah.

MEL

Lucky you.

heidi

(Showing Mel her bicep) Feel that.

Mel touches Heidi's bicep. Then her shoulders, her belly, her legs.

heidi

See?

MEL

I don't know.

heidi

What do you want, girl?

MEL

What can I get?

Jeep

So how long have you guys been together?

JD

Who?

Jeep

You guys.

JD

All the time

Jeep

That's not what I'm saying

JD

What are you saying?

Jeep

How long have you been fucking my sister?

JD

A while.

Jeep

You guys seem pretty tight

JD

We're tight

Jeep

I got to ask you something

JD

Yeah?

Jeep

Is my sister—when you're fucking her, is she seeming to be having...

JD

Who says I'm fucking her?

Jeep

You just said so

JD

No I didn't

Jeep

You just told me

JD

No I did not

Jeep

Stop fucking with me, man.

JD

What's your trip?

Jeep

I'm worried about my sister

JD

Why?

Jeep

She's acting very different...listen I've known her for a lot longer than you have.

JD

I fucked her.

Jeep

You're her fucking boyfriend!

JD

I love her.

Jeep

Are you stoned on something?

JD

Yes.

Jeep

Maybe this conversation can wait.

JD

I don't care.

Jeep

I've just been kind of worried...

JD

I'm always pretty fucked up.

Jeep

Do you hate us?

JD

I don't know.

Jeep

If you hate us you should come out and say so.

JD

Where do you get off, man? I don't understand your whole trip–what's this do I hate you? What's this asking what your own sister does in bed? Where is this coming from?

Jeep

I don't know. Just forget it.

JD

She's your sister.

Jeep

She's my sister. You want to be able to protect your sister

JD

From what?

Jeep

You guys are on something day and night.

JD

We're young.

Jeep

I'd kill you if I could do it.

JD

Then you'd be killing an innocent man.

Jeep

Like hell.

JD

You'd be killing the wrong man, partner.

jeep

If I could get away with it. Watch out.

jd

I do. But you are not that person. I am that person. And this is no news. You can talk, but it's me who can kill.

jeep

Wastoid.

jd

This is no news.

Mel

I got lost on the second floor.

Heidi

Those cubicles all look the same.

MEL

I was wandering around for like decades.

Heidi

Did you have lunch in the cafeteria?

Mel

Why didn't you meet me?

Heidi

I had to have lunch with a client.

Mel

Why didn't you reschedule?

Heidi

It was important.

Mel

You always reschedule for Jeep.

Heidi

I'll meet you for lunch tomorrow.

Mel

I'm not going back tomorrow.

Heidi

Honey...

Mel

It totally sucked. I hated it.

Heidi

It's just going to take you a while to get used to.

Mel

No way.

Heidi

Give it a chance.

Mel

It's boring.

Heidi

Well you can't expect...

Mel

No way.

Heidi

Honey.

Mel

The mailroom?

Heidi

You can't just start at the...

Mel

I don't even want to start!

Heidi

Do you want to sell lamps for the rest of your life?

Mel

No, but I don't want to work in a fucking mailroom!

Heidi

It's an excellent company-the opportunities...

Mel

Listen, thank you. Really. But it sucked.

Heidi

In a year or two...

Mel

Thank you.

HEIDI

Mel, honestly.

Mel

Can I kiss you?

HEIDI

What?

Mel

I'd really like to kiss you.

Silence Mel kisses HEIDI. Slowly HEIDI returns the kiss.

Another scene in which Mel and J.D. are sitting around.

MEL

I fucked my brothers girlfriend.

jd

Wait...what?

MEL

You know. HEIDI.

JD

You fucked HEIDI?

MEL

Yeah.

JD

(laughs)

MEL

You’re a shit.

JD

(laughs)

MEL

Don’t you even care?

JD

She’s not even that good looking!

MEL

Yes she is!

JD

You have no taste. Why do I even stay with you?

MEL

That’s a good question.

Scene in which Mel and HEIDI are naked.

HEIDI

Long day.

Mel

Yes.

HEIDI

What do you want to do about Jeep?

MEL

I'm not sure. I don't really think there is anything we can do. Not just something about Jeep. Anything—ever.

HEIDI

Then why did you do this? You've done something to me girl. You can't claim you didn't know what you were up to. You're eighteen years old. My god, you're eighteen!

MEL

Don't get upset.

HEIDI

Upset!

MEL

Please.

HEIDI

What are we going to tell him?

MEL

Nothing.

HEIDI

This is crazy. This is crazy and this is over.

MEL

More than anything else, more than anyone else, this meant something—you know? And I'm sorry, but this is the way I am. I'm eighteen and I grew up too late. Too late to catch up and too late to look back And maybe I love you, HEIDI. And maybe I don't.

HEIDI

I'm telling him

MEL

Do what you like.

HEIDI

I don't know what to say to you, Mel.

Mel

I don't know what to say either

HEIDI

Will things ever work out?

Mel

Does it really matter?

MEL

What I wanted was, I wanted to be you.

HEIDI

Why don't you go back to school? The community college...(pause) I don't know why I'm saying this. I say you should study computers, maybe a course in tech school, and get a job, and get an apartment...

HEIDI

I tell you all this shit you should do, and then you tell me, why? Why? And I'm up against this wall. Why should you be a part of this world? Why should you do what everyone does? And what can I tell you? I can't tell you it's better. I can't tell you it feels any better. All I can tell you is how I feel when I look at you, and it feels like I'm looking at myself, a part of myself, and I'm going somewhere I'm never going to return from. In the distance there's this abyss. You can never come back from there, honey. Aren't you afraid? And you'll only say, why? And I wish I knew how not to be afraid of it, I wish I knew how to say that word, with that kind of equanimity. And I know it isn't a choice.

MEL

It isn't a choice.

HEIDI

But if you had a choice...

MEL

I wanted to be you. (pause) This is all I want. (pause. HEIDI cries silently) Hey girl. (She touches HEIDI) Why don't you turn out the light?

Pause. Mel flicks the light off.

Scene at Jeep and HEIDI ‘s wedding. Mel and JD sit at a table. It is late in the reception. House music.

JD

This music sucks.

MEL

Yeah.

JD

Do you want to get stoned?

MEL

I thought we were already stoned.

JD

That was at the church. That was hours ago. (pause) You look like a goon in that dress.

MEL

Yeah.

JD

Did you see when they cut the cake.

MEL

Yeah.

JD

(Smashing his plate of cake with his fingers) It's love. (Smashing Mel's plate of cake.) It's true love.

MEL

No it isn't.

JD

How would you know? (pause) Did you see when she threw her flowers?

MEL

Yeah.

JD/P>

She threw them right at you. How come you didn't catch them? She wanted you to catch them.

MEL

No, she didn't.

JD

She was aiming for you. You just had to reach up.

MEL

Yeah.

JD

How come you didn't?

MEL

I don’t know. (pause) Do you want to get stoned?

Scene in Jeep and HEIDI's hotel room on their wedding night. HEIDI is working on her laptop.

JEEP

I'm gonna call room service. I'm gonna get us some champagne. You're beautiful, did you know how beautiful you are?

HEIDI

Sure I do.

JEEP

Jesus, HEIDI, what did you bring that thing for?

HEIDI

For work.

JEEP

This is our honeymoon.

HEIDI

Call room service.

JEEP

This is our wedding night.

HEIDI

Get some champagne.

JEEP

(into phone) Room 118. We need some champagne up here. It's our wedding night.

heidi

Mel is a strange girl.

JEEP

What the hell are you working on?

heidi

She left this.

JEEP

What.

HEIDI

She wrote something. She said goodbye.

JEEP

Who?

HEIDI

Mel.

JEEP

I'm gonna retire. That's what I'm going to do. I just married a girl with a burning desire to sell chips on her wedding night.

HEIDI

Your little sister.

JEEP

She's a financial powerhouse. CEO material. She's going to keep me in the style to which I've grown accustomed.

HEIDI

She said not to be afraid.

JEEP

Come on, let's do it. Let's do it now and drink champagne later, and them we can do it again.

HEIDI

In a minute.

JEEP

Turn that thing off.

HEIDI

I'm reading something.

JEEP

What's wrong with you.

HEIDI

There's nothing wrong with me. (She turns off the laptop) I'm just like anybody else.

The last scene. Mel and JD are hanging around the apartment.

JD

When do Jeep and his wife get back?

MEL

Who cares?

JD

We ought to clean this place up.

MEL

Why?

JD

Remember those flowers...at the wedding? How come you didn't catch them?

MEL

Why don’t you just shut up about it?

JD

It would have been so easy.

MEL

I know.

JD

It seemed like she wanted you to catch them.

MEL

Maybe she did.

JD

She threw them right at you.

MEL

I knew what she wanted. But then I just thought, why?

JD

Why.

MEL

Yeah.

There is a long pause.

JD

All you had to do was reach up.

The End