ABOUT

CONTENTS

EDITORIAL

ARCHIVE

LAGNIAPPE

MAST

SUBMISSIONS

from advancedELVIScourse

2 OF THE MOST FAMOUS
2 SYLLABLE NAMES
Dreamt I wrote E-L-V-I-S, held it to the mirror and it read K-A-F-K-A. It was the possibilities that woke me! The POSSIBILITIES! There’s plenty of room for Graceland in Prague! Elvis would have made the most handsome Gregor Samsa in the musical version of THE METAMORPHOSIS. A full-body insect costume with six hairy legs, and that beautiful face of sideburns, alone in his room with a plate of spoiled potato salad, singing I Got a Feelin’ in My Body.



Norberto gave me a card of Elvis dressed in gold lame´. He wrote, “I love you so much I don’t mind sharing you with The King!” I carried the card of my two favorite men all day. At work I counted the daily receipts, put the money in a bag for the bank. At the last minute I put the golden Elvis card in the bag, with the money, for the walk, the, walk, in, the, sun. The money rubbed Elvis. Elvis rubbed the money, the bag rubbed my thigh. Money and rubbing, Elvis and rubbing. Elvis, for you this small loan, though the money isn’t mine. Money made in the gay bookstore, money made of Gertrude Stein, Stephen Jonas, Mary Oliver, Allen Ginsberg, rubbing you Elvis, rubbing you to shine! Then the teller took the money away. But the card glowed, brighter, yes brighter. “This is my new golden Elvis card,” I held it for the teller to see. Her eyes widened, like she was looking at a crazy person, “Oh, yeah, I see, hm, that’s very nice.” I had the golden Elvis card of my two favorite men! Yes, weaving thru Philadelphia, drunk on Brotherly Love.



IF ELVIS IS NOT PARANOID SOMEONE WILL HAVE TO DO IT FOR HIM

Elvis can’t hide the fact He has a penis. He’s walking down the street and everyone knows He has a penis! It’s outrageous! How dare they! But there’s virtually nothing He can do about it. And they imagine other penises they’ve seen to imagine His penis. Which isn’t fair either, but He’s not whipping it out to say, “Hey, stop imagining things, this is mine! this is mine!” He’s sick of it! Sick sick sick sick of it! How dare they think about His penis! But there’s nothing He can do about it. The best thing to do is not mention it. When someone walks up to Him and begins a conversation about the expected rainfall this afternoon He just keeps talking about rain, never saying, “I know you know I have a penis!” It’s ridiculous He should even have to say such a thing! But it’s the way the world is! Better to ignore. Yes, ignore. That’s it, that’s best.



from 7MARCHES: March 1 of 7


3/1/01

suppose you are
airtight--in an egg--and you feel “ready”
though your panel of instruments
reads UNSAFE CONDITIONS BEYOND
             THE CALCIUM CRUST!
this is the story i’m beginning to tell you

departures at
2 a.m. not
midnight

my imaginary bus
turns into a plate
of spaghetti in
Howard Johnson’s on
Time’s Square

4th booth from
the register reading
a poet who
liked Chaucer but i
don’t have to like
Chaucer to like this
poet i’m not
saying i don’t
like Chaucer
i’m just saying

meanwhile
the men who filed down
Time’s Square’s edges
enter the hearth



3/5/01

dreamt they
forced my face
in Kafka’s crotch
      it’s amazing they
never noticed
i didn’t resist

Kafka is dead
his penis
something
no one
knew

serious dream
is serious need
though i wouldn’t
hurt a
monster


3/6/01

ME: I love the smell of laundromats in strange cities.
CITY: Define strange.
ME: (shocked to hear from the city and can answer nothing).



3/7/01

legs do
it all
head bobbing
a free ride
it’s no
telephone she
holds a dying
bird to her
ear as legs
get them
there the
whispered
names of
you ‘n me