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EDITORIAL

ARCHIVE

LAGNIAPPE

MAST

SUBMISSIONS

Five Poems
by K. Silem Mohammad


THE BOWL OF LUCKY CHARMS PROJECT

guess what court supervision bitch
all of a sudden like whoa
I got the typical flat maize pancake “tortilla”
spilling from under the rabbit costume
      “aw yeah that does stink”

I had a dream about a kitten last night
I kept trying to put it in the litterbox
and it kept getting away from me somehow
as I put it in the fridge I pulled out a video cassette
“Making Love out of Nothing at All”
(Air Supply) put it in my mouth
      put it in the oven
      in our phony make-believe oven
      an’ bake bine a gawnish bastie
      an’ he’s got one o’ the warm tins
      o’ beer an’ he’s put it in the hole
      like Greenspan gave the order
      to crank out 190 billion dollars put it in the banks
      make sure they capitalize it put it in bold print
          repeated for like ever

      I said it would rock if someone
made a clockwork mouse and put it
in the woods to teach me a lesson



DER EXPLOSION

nothing but downbeat groovery in NASA spacegear
that’s what’s been holding me together

& women holding doctorates in a series of narrow tunnels
tunnels I could not fit down that’s right

then you honed it down with the Abu Ghraib people
& a badly drawn blue goblin holding two axes

wearing clothes & “honkin’ down the highway”
(that struck me as not very punk rock)

he is currently holding auditions for teenage girls
funny but you have to see the video he’s holding up

what many consider the ultimate wife of David Bowie
these days she’s all “Watership Down”

I was seriously thinking of holding a funeral for dinosaurs
who had been heroes of socialist drag queens

I thought there could be no greater guy who was asking me
(unpatriotic Sikh middle name) “ouch”

don’t bring me der explosion
I talk not up to par with James Taylor all the way

I like and listen to the prog-rock band Marillion
I am going to lay down for half an hour



TABLEAU SANS CAPTIONS
               
                        for Shanna Compton

I’m not one of those women who freaks out when a bee lands
in my office and drops a large wad of cash on my desk
but I think sissy is okay

I am not going to open the files people send me
that concludes our stomachs welcome an first having
I started screaming about a bee in the car

I am not going swimming in the big blue sea
“the sea?” said he “yes, at the knee by the sea
on Friday at half past three” said the bee

re: buh! boo bee bay bee buh beep beep bee bee beep
the guys am cracking up over “bay-bee? baay-beee?”
may-be the ding-o down-loa-ded your mu-sic

he doesn’t be-bop to hip-hop tunes
his vice principal did a phenomenal job
I didn’t have a chance he was very accident

I am so not going out with you now I’m retail-bound
I am so not going to come to school in hideous track-pants
that serves no purpose except making your thighs appear ginormous

I was sticking my fingers in one end
thinking I’d nudge the wad of shredded carrots
and also the peloton had been split by the climb

it swivels (who cares about swiveling)
you know, I am so not going
to call a caption contest on this tableau

there are these individual people throughout the world who are on NPR
it will solve so much problems but no, I am not going to a net cafe
I am not going there in case anyone is in need of something




UNITARIAN GIRLFRIEND

this is about the wonderful time
Noel had with his girlfriend Carly
in a nice place run by the Unitarian Church

—

thanks to my cross-cultural connection
menstruation didn’t win the election
I got in an argument
inside of a tent
my late Uncle God
was in such an anti-tax mood

—

Jewish & Muslim women never hesitate
to reach for the last beer
and sometimes in academia an Asian woman
wearing an orange-pink T-shirt came
and greeted her Asian girlfriend

—

back to the verdant landscape of strip malls
Vancouver is far
from western Massachusetts

—

I saw a black-and-white picture of a cow
that had been flattened against a rock
repeated over and over

—

no decent guy beats up his girlfriend
and then buys her a chocolate orange




WORDS

                        for Richard Greene

words are not the food of owls
polar bears’ fur is not white
so you should not think that they are strong like God

stray kittens from the pinewoods gulp the form
adults recycle the mice back into the mythology
to extract the juices from one unique characteristic that is not shared
they have signs posted that tell us not to throw loads of owls

it would seem that instinctive recognition of acorns
reflects the views of the developers of the unit
specifically Maine-relevant news not being publicized
does not reflect finger puppets of owls and moles

the words are chosen to provide users with the same object
such a great talker could not fail to this stuffy hole

understand these things I am telling you
this is not a book about the contents of the stomachs of owls in particular
go your way for the words are closed up

there are many more stories out there
not all end the same way
the library near my house is a Starbucks and that is not good